


You Are My Sunshine

by disgraceRavenclaw



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Lullabies, M/M, Songfic, baz is grieving, fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, im really fucking sorry, poor guy, violin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 19:46:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16125458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disgraceRavenclaw/pseuds/disgraceRavenclaw
Summary: Please keep hands and feet inside the feels train at all times. We hope you enjoy your ride!





	You Are My Sunshine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BasicBathsheba](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BasicBathsheba/gifts).



> Please keep hands and feet inside the feels train at all times. We hope you enjoy your ride!

The sky was grey, and the world reeked of death in the late autumn chill. There was no sunshine. Surely, there was a storm coming soon.

Baz looked out of the window at the tall buildings of the city as they faded over the horizon. Trees sped by as the cab passed them. Their prickly branches prayed to the sky, reaching up to pet the oncoming clouds.

Baz gripped his violin case tightly, and felt his throat close. He'd been doing this for years now, but it never got easier. It was never easy on days like this, where the whole world was achromatic. It rubbed salt into Baz's wounds.

He was black and white. Black hair, white skin. Grey eyes that shone in the light. Simon was always the colorful one; golden skin, copper hair, blue eyes. Rosy cheeks, green tea, cherry scones. Green sweaters. Cold stares. Warm kisses.

Baz tried not to think about it. He learned that from Simon.

Suddenly, the taxi came to a halt. Baz looked up at the man driving the cab, and pulled 20 quid from his case, handing it to the driver politely. He stepped out of the car, and stood by the side of the road. He watched the car fade out of view as it drove off.

Turning around, Baz confronted the iron gates, black with weathering and tarnish. He pushed them open gently, staining his hand black. He walked past headstones, reading some of the names. Arthur Kingsmen. Robin South. Gregory O'Leiry. Clark Ledvig. Robert Diaz. He stood still when he came upon a stone square.

Simon Snow Pitch.

The lettering was in gold, and Baz took it upon himself to paint the headstone in vibrant golds and oranges, with deep red undertones. Simon could never be buried under something so lacking in color. It was the only thing around him with any hue worth noting.

Baz looked at the world around him. The atmosphere was empty. Grief suffocated him, making tears prick at his eyes. He brushed them away with one hand. He set down his violin case, opened it, and pulled out his violin.

Lifting the violin to his chin, and bringing the bow up to the strings, Baz played a few experimental notes, tuning his Violin just right. Nothing but the best for him, after all. Baz counted off in his head, and began to play a familiar tune. he hummed the first lyrics, before beginning to sing.

 

_"The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms, but when I awoke dear, I was mistaken..."_

Baz stopped. He felt his throat beginning to close again. He wiped a few more tears from his eyes to keep singing.  _"...So I hung my head and cried."_

The wind chilled Baz's body. He knew he would have to go home tonight and keep 3 blankets on his bed, heater on high, trying to keep himself warm without his husband. It would be his 2nd winter in a row without him soon. Simon had kissed him during christmas break. They moved in together during the early stages of winter. Simon even proposed to Baz on christmas eve.

Simon always kept him warm, in little ways.

_"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey, you'll never know dear how much I love you..."_

Baz let his hands fall, taking the violin away from his head. He carried the violin and bow in both his hands. This time, he made no move to wipe away the tears running down his face. They tasted bitter when they hit his lips.

_"Please don't take my sunshine away."_

* * *

The sky was grey, and the world reeked of death in the late autumn chill. 

There was no sunshine.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for boarding Angst Express. Come see us again soon!


End file.
